Category Archives: Disappointment

Soul of My Voice

I am pleased to announce that my newest book, Soul of My Voice, is now available at Lulu.com. Amazon.com and BarnesandNoble.com. This text was written as a workbook/journal to accompany my first book, Soul of Voice published in 2016. However, Soul of My Voice is just as effective as a stand alone book, chuck full of essays, poems, quotes, photos, writing prompts and mandalas. Happy reading (and writing, and coloring, etc.)!!

Too Small of Shoes

sneakers-worn-holes

“We all walk in shoes too small for us.” Carl Jung

I remember when I first read this quote how curious I was as to how tight my shoes fit with regard to my life’s work. Were the activities of my day to day existence pinching my toes or roomy enough to encourage self growth? And were the hopes and dreams for my future merely fragments of wishful thinking or glimpses of my personal destiny?  And were those hopes and dreams big enough to hold all of my potentiality as a woman, an artist and a healer?

“Imagination is the eye of the soul.” Joseph Joubert

I have always desired to make my mark on this world. And I have had ample opportunities to do so on stage, in the classroom and in my private practice. Hopefully I have also been a positive influence on my children and my community at large. Even now my prayer is that what I have to say in my writings will find its way into the heart of those who read them.

But often what I have desired for myself has not always manifested, at least not in the way I would have wished. There have been significant struggles, failures, wrong turns and false dreams along the way, which looking back now, do not seem near as devastating as they felt in the past. What I am trying to say is that these disappointments have at times made me cautious, wary, distrustful, and slow to act. In other words, SCARED!

“God wouldn’t put the dream in your heart if He didn’t have a way.
You don’t have to figure out how it’s going to happen. 
Your job is to believe.” Joel Osteen   

Yet, something inside of me has always nudged me forward—to stand at the edge of the abyss of change and opportunity and stare down into its dark mystery of promise. My mother once accused me of being a dreamer, which I am in part. Yet a dreamer often does not take action, for the dream is always more beautiful than the hard work and possible disappointment that may come in its pursuit.

So, transformation takes a courageous heart as well as intelligence, discipline and perseverance. But if we do not take that initial step of faith, then how can we ever know for certain that we are living in the full potentiality of our being?

I leave this blog with a quote from my beloved teacher Aftab Omer at Meridian University on the occasion of my last day of class. It was a bittersweet moment for both of us as I was leaving the comfortable nest of graduate school and flying away toward the larger purpose of my life as I knew it to be then.

“May you find the courage you need to step into your imagination!”

Soul of Voice: How to Step Fully into the Truth of Your Voice

INBOX406275c548c693359ca8c3adcc2dd6ade8096I am excited to announce the recent publication of my book, Soul of Voice, which is now available in print as well as for electronic readers. Many of you have asked what it is I do in my private practice, and this book culminates my system as well as its application in a concise yet enriching manner. I plan to keep you posted when artists and other voice practitioners are utilizing my book and / or its methodology.

Looking for the Teaching in Disappointment

 

panda disappointmentEach and every one of us has been disappointed at some point in our lives. Frustration, regret, disillusionment, setback, let down, failure, defeat. Disappointment is part of life, and unless we can find value in life’s disappointments, they can take us down for the count. Then we become hesitant in taking risks, venturing out into new and uncharted waters, or doing much of anything unless we have some fairly soundproof guarantees.  Yet, whether we are able to find value in disappointment or not, the phenomena still hurts. Disappointment can leave us harboring feelings of being lied to, or betrayed, or gypped, or any other such thing that leaves us feeling out of control and at the back and call of the fates.

The beauty is that through disappointment you can gain clarity, and with clarity comes conviction and true originality.”                 Conan O’Brien

Yet, if one is lucky enough to survive disappointment, something happens to you that could never have happened without it. By allowing yourself to just go with it—to go deep into the pain of it—disappointment can have a way of making you more humble, more human, and as a result more compassionate. And the value of that is priceless.

Eventually disappointment can even make a person stronger, more resilient, and more able to take on bigger risks, bigger goals—and all without needing guarantees of safety or success in return. In fact, disappointment is merely a nudging toward a better direction—a clearer vision of what one truly wants to be or hopes to achieve.

Sometimes when you get disappointment it makes you stronger.David Rudisha

It is not easy giving a voice to disappointment because it is usually back loaded with shame. When one feels disappointment at its heaviest, they can be heard to say such things as: “How could I have been so stupid!” “I am such a loser!” of “Everything happens to me!”—which is fine when one is traveling through the deep waters of feeling, but not where one needs to moor their boat. Instead if one can seek out the value of the current disappointment for the gold it may contain, then they can give voice to something transformative such as: “I made a mistake, but better to find out now than later;” “I didn’t do as well as I had hoped, but I think with some education or training I will have more success;” or (as my sister-in-law says with great humor) “I guess this was just another boil on the butt of life!”

One thing I have found is that the more value I place on my disappointments, the more joy I find in my successes and joyful encounters. And by giving voice to the transmutation of these bumps into clumps of gold, I give myself permission to be more accessible and vulnerable as a human being.